A Glimmer of Hope

I haven't given much information about my new teaching situation but a little understanding is necessary to understand the significance of today's small victory. I always thought classroom management came easily to me. I was born with the "teacher voice" and I already have kids so I'm past the "how strict is too strict?" mess. I know children aren't going to break from me being a little hard on them, and sometimes they need that. Last year, I felt like I was mean some days. Like I could not have fun with the kids because they would take advantage and get out of control... some days (maybe just a few). This year I have come home crying too many days because I feel like a drill sergeant. There is no letting up without losing control. Or at least there hasn't been. Not to mention that my students come from less than "perfect" family lives and many have grown up being told to stand up for themselves no matter what. "Watch out for number one." If I don't have my eye open and my class in order at all times, a fight will break out over somebody "stealing" a pencil (which has probably rolled on the floor) and the WHOLE class gets quickly involved. This has been my life for the last two months. Not to mention, I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny and am surely the only one with this lack of behavior management. AND, I've spent SO much time trying to adjust behavior that I feel like I've hardly TAUGHT anything! Not for lack of trying! Trust me, I've planned and planned and cut paper and cut paper and planned and planned some more. So anyway, this week I put the students in new groups (after rearranging my classroom yet again to try to find the right fit). I called their groups families and we had a long chat about how families all look a little different and all of the members are better at some things than others. We also talked about how once you're in a family, you have to learn to get along - There's no going back and asking the Big Guy in the Sky to make some rearrangements. You just find a way to make your family work. Likewise, there would be no asking Mrs. Hicks to move your seat either. So today, after they realized they were stuck, they started settling in and we actually were getting some work done! Yay! All of a sudden, mid-teaching, I hear "The Ultimate Problem Child" congratulate "Constantly Playing with 7 Pencils Child" for getting an answer right. He even offered him a High Five! If you can picture a popularity spectrum, these two students were on the farthest ends possible from each other! I was SOOOO proud!!!!! So of course I made a HUGE deal about how families encourage one another and how they were being such great family members, and lo and behold, the rest of the class starts "high five-ing" each other whenever they answer questions right, too! It was amazing! And (though it was not long lived) I for once had the feeling that I was the type of teacher I always wanted to be, the kind who can instill classroom community and caring among one another. The kind where students are compassionate toward one another, celebrating the victories together and working together to fix the problems. Today was a small step for sure, but certainly one that I will grasp tight to until I can find some more!